With this “Frankenstorm” heading towards us, my Dad and I finally had the push to get the garden completely cleared out. The kale was harvested and (painstakingly) cleaned, cooked, bagged and frozen. The dried beans were picked (and will wait until tomorrow to be shelled and laid out to dry.) Apart from a little lettuce and my celery*, which have both bolted, everything has been removed from the garden—trellis posts, tomato and pepper cages, hoses.
I have to admit that I haven’t been in the garden in the last three weeks. Being forced down there today, I was also forced to think about why I was avoiding it. Part of me is relieved that it’s all over, that I can take it easier. But I have come to realize that mostly I’m sad and almost feel abandoned. How could you die when I need you so? Intellectually I know that nothing really dies—it’s all just cycles. But knowing that still doesn’t change how you feel when you sink into the low part of the cycle.
I just need to remind myself of all the beauty and life that still pulses in winter—it’s just perhaps not so obvious. I have many projects casting on many different needles. Hoping to experiment with gourds a bit. Those stacks of books I can indulge in. Baking! Hiking! I have dates and parties planned. I’ve even started painting my nails again. And I may finally clean some of the house beyond blowing dust off surfaces and vacuuming around objects on the floor.
Tonight, I ended up sore and tired. I’ve missed this. Honestly, I hate “exercising.” I know a lot of people love running or hitting the gym or doing zumba. Not me. It’s not because I’m lazy by nature but rather it’s just not fun to me. I’d rather gain muscle mass by lugging heavy objects, yanking out stubborn weeds, cleaning out or rearranging boxes in the basement or barn, clambering over rocks and wandering down trails, even by stirring dough. (I just wish it burned enough calories to level out my love for chocolate!)
I basically took the summer off of work to be in the garden. Although I didn’t literally make a lot of money, I filled a 27 cubic foot freezer with vegetables. With the garden done I need to figure out where I am going from here.
I saw feather today while hauling tomato cages up to the barn. Remember when I said I had read somewhere that when you find a feather it means you are on the right path? Well, there has to be something to the fact that you only find feathers outside.
I do know I want to lead an authentic life. One where less is more. One where things are simple but so pure and so rich. I want to feel proud of myself and what I do. I want to be self-sufficient.
Thank you all in advance for letting me ramble. I hope this makes sense—I just now realized it’s after one in the morning.
Wishing you all a wonderful weekend!
*I harvested most of my celery before the first frost hit and my Mom cooked it down and pureed it into a creamy celery soup.