Even though I am finally making some headway on my Buttercup top (thanks to knitting rounds in front of the Olympics or The Bob Newhart Show reruns), I decided to take a little detour here and there to whip up a couple presents. I could have sworn I had made this pattern back in April or so when I was on a dishcloth-making-kick but I suppose not. (I made three other versions, a few I’ll make again now.)
I’m currently reading The Householder’s Guide to the Universe. It’s taking me a lot longer to get through it than I thought. I will admit I’ve been awfully busy (garden, kitchen, work.) When I do sit down to read, I never know if I’m going to enjoy what I read or not. There are times when the author’s tone and writing seems so redundant, indulgent and uppity. I have to admit, I’ve skipped over sections of the book. But other times I’m biting my tongue to keep from shouting out loud: “spot on!” or “well said!”
So far I haven’t learned anything new or exciting or been inspired too much, but at the very least it has been reassuring and comforting to this “householder” at heart. I’m not done reading it yet so perhaps it’ll solidify more for me as I go on. There is one passage I’ll quote here that struck a nerve. I seem to keep bumping into people who, upon hearing I don’t have a ‘career’ job (or current career plan), no college degree* and live home with my parents, smile politely at me with pity and disappointment. I’m tempted to show them the dirt under my nails and the freezer full of food, tell them of all the knowledge I’ve learned and experiences I’ve had, stress to them how it’s helping the budget, health and happiness of this household and those in it. Perhaps I can go into all of this in another post. For now, the quote:
“Though householding will not be the answer for everyone, in spirit it suggests that the work “in here” is as valuable as the work (and careers) “out there.” Today I do not go to work but rather work as I go. Here and there, in a rhythm entirely more suited to my nature, I do what must be done. Today, because I’m so inclined, I take on the hard work of endless tasks and, in doing so, become a jack-of-all-trades and a master-of-none.”
Are you knitting and reading? Join the Yarn Along over at Small Things.
*I’d love to go back to college (because I love to learn) but I don’t see the point in accumulating massive debt for a degree I’m not sure I need.
August 1, 2012 at 6:58 AM
You are a wise young woman and are doubly smart in not listening to other people who want to force their beliefs on you. I have one of those degrees I don’t use along with the exorbitant debt, which I regret. However. I’d also continue to go to school if I could because I, too, love to learn. My ‘children’ are grown, but if we lived in the same state I guarantee we’d have an extended household. I am actually quite jealous of your parents having you at home. I think it is healthy and beneficial in so many ways. If any of those naysayers took the time to find out you are a crucial element to your household and not a sponge I would hope they’d also feel a twinge of envy as I do and change their song. Stay true to yourself because you obviously have a lot going for you. I don’t mean to be preachy – just wanted to lend my support.
I wanted to tell you how I found your site, but I’ve forgotten now. Sorry about that. Without being a follower (I’m internet challenged), I’m still following you. I loved the garden photos. The hard work paid off, didn’t it?
August 1, 2012 at 10:34 PM
Thank you for the kind words, Kristie. They mean a lot. I know it comes down to a lack of confidence on my part. If I felt really confident, it wouldn’t matter what anyone said or thought about me. But it’s a hard thing to shake, this ingrained belief that unless we are making ‘independent riches’ we are not contributing or not ‘adult’ or whatever.
And my mother has been going to a few reunions lately and she runs into so many people who say they are envious of her and wish their kids were still at home!
August 1, 2012 at 7:44 AM
Ooh, your book sounds very interesting and I love the dish cloth pattern – thanks for sharing.
August 1, 2012 at 10:35 PM
Thanks for stopping by, Hannah. :)
August 1, 2012 at 7:49 AM
Right on! I teach in a community college, and see a lot of kids there who are just in school because their parents told them it’s the thing to do. Fortunately, community college is pretty cheap, but still, a degree is not some magic ticket to ride. An awful lot of people can do what they want to do without even a bachelor’s, let alone all these zany master’s degrees out there. And don’t get me started on predatory for-profit “universities!” Anyway, good on you for saving money, and for not doing a thing just because it seems to be the thing everyone does.
And also, I don’t know how I’d survive raising my kids if my whole extended family didn’t live five miles down the road, and most of them in my parents’ house at one time or another. I applaud your house holding.
August 1, 2012 at 10:59 PM
Thank you! And I know what you mean. It’s such a sad set up anymore. Education should be affordable and a way to better one’s life—not just saddle kids with debt.
August 1, 2012 at 8:06 AM
College isn’t for everyone, or nessesary for that matter. I am the only child of my parents that finished college. I didn’t use that degree for anything, except to put on resumes that never got me big money. I stayed home to raise my own children, never regretting that choice for a second.
August 1, 2012 at 11:03 PM
That’s wonderful, Jennifer—that you don’t regret being a stay at home mom. It’s one of the most respectable jobs out there, in my opinion. And I’m not trying to put down a college education or a “career”, I just think it’s sad that people are taught to believe it’s the best or only way to better your life—that if you’re not making a ton of money, you’re not succeeding.
August 1, 2012 at 8:46 AM
I haven’t made dishcloths/washcloths in quite awhile. That would be a good small project to use as a filler. When I borrowed that book from the library, I didn’t end up reading the entire thing – sort of just skipped around, read little bits here and there and then returned it.
August 1, 2012 at 11:06 PM
Yes, dishcloths are nice little respites from the monotony of doing knitted rounds.
August 1, 2012 at 8:59 AM
Lovely post Liesl and what an interesting book! I took two years of college and never received a degree. Over the years, I have been fortunate to have companies hire me for my knowledge and background rather than a piece of paper. I’m quite content where I’m at in my life and while many might now think my job is glamorous, I love what I do and that’s what counts in the end :)
August 1, 2012 at 11:25 PM
That’s wonderful, Tina. I wish everyone could have that kind of experience and content with their job.
August 1, 2012 at 9:10 AM
I so admire your attitude and I love the quote, too. Our daughter is living with us while she starts her business, but chafing at being here. I can see that more and more families are going to be “going back in time” to when it was completely accepted that you had lots of family living in one household, and it was encouraged and enjoyed – not looked down upon.
Your folks are blessed to have you there, I’m sure.
August 1, 2012 at 11:33 PM
Thank you. I see it too. With the economy and the current state of things, more and more people are going back to an extended family unit setup. We don’t all need to be so fiercely independent and handle it all on our own. It’s OK to lean on each other.
August 1, 2012 at 11:06 AM
I sympathize with you — nearly everyone I meet here has some glorious tidbit of advice for me because I don’t have a career and live at home. I just finished getting my degree in Creative Writing (and my school was exceptionally inexpensive), and don’t regret it because I, like you, love to learn, but… when folks ask me what I’m going to do, and I say I’m writing? They just don’t get it. And, just like you again, I wish I could show them all these practical, very real life skills I have.
There’s nothing wrong with doing what we’re doing. The only wrong things are: 1) internalizing what negative things others say; 2) no longer learning and growing. All I want out of life is to be happy and have learned as much about what I love as I can.
Keep on keepin’ on, lady!
August 1, 2012 at 11:39 PM
Thank you, Sara. :) I said to a commenter above about how it really boils down to my confidence in the matter. If I have confidence in what I am doing at where my life is currently at, I wouldn’t care what anyone thought. I just need to chose to hear only the people who encourage me, not the ones who bring me down. And yes, to never stop growing and learning.
August 1, 2012 at 11:18 AM
I am completely with you on the saving the money & doing what you love. I think careers are overrated when you consider what one has to give up in exchange for them to be successful (which I don’t think many people realize). Look at all the skills and talents you have! I’m sure many many career people are envious of you for them. Plus think about how much you are cutting out the middleman because you can procure your basic needs WITHOUT buying them (grow & preserve your own food, cook, make clothing, household items, etc). I still strive to be able to make for myself instead of buying something because it allows me to be less dependent on an outside job for money and thus allow me more freedom to do what I love doing :)
And I think the biggest difference between what a lot of college grads living at home do vs. your situation is that they are still like a child (taking everything in without giving back) instead of a helpful addition to the household.
Great post!
August 1, 2012 at 11:46 PM
So true, Annie. I think that is what gets me most—the fact that people, upon learning I live at home, automatically assume that I’m some child still mooching off Mom and Dad. I pay room and board, I work hard around here. I’m a part of making this household work.
Thank you for your kind words of reassurance. :)
August 1, 2012 at 6:11 PM
I actually got my degree in textiles and clothing, so I use my degree for pleasure and house management. Do I use it enough to make up for the debt? Heck no! Could I learn that information on my own given the internet and library. I would argue that I can and do to further my education. My parents also forced me into college. Which I’m sure seemed like a good idea at the time….
August 1, 2012 at 11:53 PM
Sometimes it is a great thing and some kids really need a nudge to pursue college. But it’s not fair to push a kid into all that debt especially when they haven’t made up their mind about where they want their life to go. I think our parents/baby boomers are well intentioned and think of college like it was when they were young—a great opportunity to better one’s life. But things have changed since then and like I said, unless a kid has a goal and plan, it’s a little risky to dive into college.
August 2, 2012 at 10:54 AM
Your post reminded me of this quote: “There is only one success. . . to be able to spend your life in your own way.” – Christopher Morley
I agree with you that it takes confidence to see your “own way” when it varies from what our society tends to direct. Carry on dear one.
August 4, 2012 at 11:13 AM
You always have the perfect quotes, Harmony. Thank you for your support and kindness.
August 2, 2012 at 11:52 AM
the good thing about life is that, despite what society tells us, there is enough time to do all that you want to do, BUT first you have to KNOW what you want to do.
I was a stay at home mom for ten years and loved it. Until I HATED it. So i went to work outside the home. And I love it and can’t imagine not bringing home a paycheck. You may one day not want to be a homemaker, or you may not. Either way is okay. Life is too short to be worrying about what others think of the life path you’ve chosen.
And I completely agree with your thoughts on college. I would love to go but the debt frightens me.
August 4, 2012 at 11:31 AM
We do change throughout life. I’m so glad to see you’ve been able to go after and do what you wanted when you wanted at the different phases of your life, Tammie.
August 2, 2012 at 8:27 PM
Oh this is so bang on. Every time some one I know asks me to sew on a button, or how to make pastry I think about all of the skills that have been lost in our generation. So many people are educated, but along the way haven’t had any traditional home-making skills passed down from their parents. What you are doing is so important and the knowledge you are gaining is just as important as any conventional education.
August 4, 2012 at 11:35 AM
Thank you, Nicola. That means a lot. We need folks from all walks and educational backgrounds to make the world go round. It’s just hard to make most people see that these (supposedly) meaningless, lower-class tasks and jobs are just as essential to our society as the doctors and lawyers and teachers.
August 4, 2012 at 2:46 PM
This is one of the goals of homeschooling my kids. Harvard and Stanford won’t be banging down our doors because of SAT scores and academic prowess, but my kids already have many useful life skills that will serve them well.
August 4, 2012 at 8:30 PM
That’s wonderful, Kim.
September 2, 2012 at 8:39 PM
I found your blog through Freshly Pressed and am now compulsively reading through old posts. You have an incredible life. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. You are surrounded by beauty and are producing beauty and consuming beauty every day, and you should be very proud of that. I’m finishing my degree mostly to give my parents peace of mind (in my culture it’s the holiest of holy grails to finish college), but I’m eager to go off and live the kind of life you have. Your blog is a much-needed breath of fresh air, and I’d like to thank you for sharing.
September 4, 2012 at 7:46 PM
Thank you for the kinds words. Oddly enough, beauty is really what pushes me through life—making it, seeking it, experiencing it. :)
September 4, 2012 at 8:21 PM
It’s definitely a worthwhile pursuit. :-)